BCD'S SOAP OPERA UPDATES
By Kristen
Things I learned from watching "Days of Our Lives" recently, having missed every episode for the last 13 years:
-Carly isn't buried alive anymore. (*whew*)
-Bo and Hope's kid is 30-years-old. How is this possible? He was four when I was 12.
-They’ve replaced Old Billie with New Billie. (You know it's the same character because they have the same hair.) Oh! And her baby wasn't actually stillborn. Billie just thought she was, and now the baby’s 42.
-Carrie’s face recovered from her “permanently disfiguring” acid accident. Way to go, skin!
-Cancer, rape, murder, multiple kidnappings and deranged stalkers have failed to kill Jack and Jen’s affections for each other, but now it looks like Jack’s got Hodgkins again. They came to this conclusion in ten minutes, while stranded in an isolated cave, with no diagnostic tools around them whatsoever. Then Jack passed out, and they were rescued by helicopter EMTs, who I assume troll Salem for angst-ridden couples with possibly terminal diseases.
-Kate ... has had … some … work done.
-As … has … Hope.
-PATCH AND KAYLA ARE BACK? SHUT THE EFF UP! I thought he had been poisoned. Hm. In retrospect, I should have known when they lost his body.
-Abe and Lexie are still together (kind of)! Imagine if Morgan Freeman was married to Alicia Keys, but Morgan was a blind police sergeant and Alicia was the worst doctor, ever. That’s kind of how they are, except with some baby-switching.
-Marlena was a serial killer? When did this happen?
-Oh. After she was possessed by the devil.
-But before she escaped the volcanic tidal wave.
-The Sami/Austin/Carrie/Lucas love quadrangle hasn't ended. This has gone on for 13 years, because none of them has heard of internet dating.
-Victor Kiriakis (in real life, Jennifer Aniston’s dad) is now father to Kyle from “Real World Chicago.” The pop culture node in my brain just exploded. Must stop now.
posted by Kris at
4:54 PM
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